June 2010
May 2010
These people respond to everything with arrows and we don’t know shit about them.
Hilarious excerpts include:
When presented with gifts by anthropologists, “…pigs are not eaten but shot and buried, as was a doll. Red buckets were taken with apparent delight, while green ones were rejected.”
“Groups approaching to pick up the goods were monitored and censused from a safe distance, breaking off contact when the Sentinelese indicated they so wished by presenting their weapons and mock aiming at the contact party.”
“The tension did not ease. At this moment, a strange thing happened - a woman paired off with a warrior and sat on the sand in a passionate embrace. This act was being repeated by other women, each claiming a warrior for herself, a sort of community mating, as it were.”
“The same expedition noted among the items of a settlement a rectangular board which looked like an 8 x 8 square chessboard; the origin and significance of this object is unknown but the Onge and Jarawa do not have boardgames. This may have been an actual chessboard that washed up on the island.”
“In 2006, Sentinelese archers killed two fishermen who were fishing illegally within range of the island, and drove off the helicopter that was sent to retrieve their bodies with a hail of arrows. To this date, their bodies remain unrecovered, however the downdraught from the helicopter’s rotors at the time exposed the two fishermen, who had been buried in shallow graves by the Sentinelese.”
And from another article:
“Yet when a helicopter flew low over the island, a Sentinelese man rushed out on to the beach, aiming his arrow at the pilot in a gesture that clearly said, ‘We don’t want you here’. Alone of the tens of millions of people affected by the disaster, the Sentinelese needed no help from anyone.”
“The Sentinelese are believed to have lived on their island home for 60,000 years.”
wtf
I don’t know much about SNSD’s manager, and I don’t care to. I honestly hope he gets fired after this because the girls deserve a manager who isn’t an ass. I would really like to hear what they have to say about it. Sooyoung is standing right there and she is so nice. It probably made her sad inside. ;-;
Epop: Average amount of time Girls Generation sleeps?
Yuri: About 4 hours at night, but we catch up with sleep in the car, so it’s still okay!
By Cody Johnston
It was just two days before Deb’s big birthday party, and she was just as excited as one might expect a selfish little puke like Deb to be. She was smallish and red-haired and her glasses were a bit wrong on her face. To look at her would be to look at someone you might assume was named Fran. She’s not, though. She’s Deb.
Strangers and friends would occasionally assume her name was Fran, too. They were always wrong, although she did sometimes try to go by Fran. Not to avoid confusion or to stir up confusion, but because she absolutely loved the name.
“Oh,” Deb would lament. “If only my name t’were Fran.”
Preparations for her birthday were in full swing even though the party was days away because, as we’ve established, Deb was a humongous brat.
“No!” Deb would shout, the shrillness of her bitchy little wind pipes piercing in the ears of dogs the world over, riling them up and whatnot. “I wanted one and a half inches of icing on my stupid ice cream cake!”
“You’re being a real shit right now, Deb,” her older sister Fran would scold her. “We’re doing the best we can. You should appreciate how much we give to you.”
Deb would often sulk off upstairs, in which case Fran would say softly to herself, “Maybe one day you will.”
In the instances where Deb would not sulk off, she would usually say something like, “Whatever, shut up. Call me Fran.” Then, of course, the argument would start.
“Deb, that’s my name,” Fran might tell Deb.
“But I like it!” Deb would probably scream, her freakish shriek riling up even more dogs the world over.
This scenario would always end with Fran saying something like “You should appreciate how much we give to you.” Deb, of course, would sulk off upstairs as Fran would mutter to herself, “Maybe one day you will.”
The world over, riled up dogs were being calmed down by confused owners who were pleading with their pets to conform to some form of decency or human logic. Many of the dogs settled down, although some did not.
This would continue for the next few days, until suddenly it was the morning of Deb’s birthday. She woke up to a blue bird singing in her window, which in her town was unfortunately a sign of impending doom. Although ominous music did not play (juxtaposing the lighthearted chirps of the blue bird with worrisome cellos and tubas), Deb had a feeling it might.
Deb stretched in her bed and sat up as the blue bird stopped its cheerful doomsong and flew away. Ominous music began to play, and Deb’s fears were realized: This was going to be a bad birthday.
Deb’s birthday didn’t turn out to be so bad. Her mother and father got her so many toys and dolls and so much other girly shit that Deb could barely keep it all in her too-big room. She even had a delicious ice cream cake, which is of much importance later on. The only downside was the sudden and grotesque murdering of her parents by forces unknown. This is probably what the blue bird was hinting at.
The funeral was inappropriately on Fran’s birthday, which was just days after Deb’s birthday. Much like a child born right around Christmas, Fran’s birthday was always overshadowed by Deb’s much better birthday. This year was no exception, because even at the parents’ funeral, everyone was abuzz about Deb’s recent amazing birthday.
“Did you see all that girly shit she got?” a mourner asked.
“Oh yeah,” confirmed another mourner. “Totes cute.”
“Totes a lot of it, too.”
“Totes.”
“Ashes to ashes,” said the nearby preacher. “Totes to totes.”
The crowd coughed in unison as if to say, “Um, excuse me?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the preacher said, having realized his mistake. “I was kind of drifting in and out there for a minute. I didn’t get to go to Deb’s awesome party.”
Everyone gave an understanding nod.
“Dust to dust,” the preacher corrected himself as he closed the town bible, half of which was just about birds and what they might mean. Everyone dispersed and forgot Deb and Fran ever had parents. A year went by and it was of no consequence.
The next year, on the eve of her birthday, Deb wished her name was Fran or something. It was the kind of wish that you knew was going to come true because it involved a wishbone, a shooting star, and a stray eyelash. Deb woke up the next morning to find everyone calling her Fran. She was thrilled, temporarily. Yes, it was all dancing and raisins for a while, but she soon realized the ramifications of her ill-fated wish. Deb was called Fran because her sister Fran didn’t exist anymore!
“What a cruel yet expected twist of wish-granting!” Deb might have lamented, were we covering this part of the story in great detail. Deb quickly learned a lesson about not being such a spoiled little shit and she used her birthday wish to wish that everything would go back to normal.
Deb awoke to the life she had taken for granted, the life where she was called Deb. Her sister Fran was alive and well, and their reunion was an eerie one. Upon separating from a sisterly hug, Fran made an off-hand comment about wishes and the name “Fran.” Deb, ever the question-asker, asked Fran if she knew of her doomed wish.
“The only doom I’m aware of deals with song birds,” Fran told her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Deb.”
Relieved, Deb sighed a sigh of relief.
“I mean Fran,” Fran corrected herself, winking at her confused sister.
Deb stared at her blankly.
“Or do I?” asked Fran, her skin going paler than normal.
“Do you?” Deb asked, still confused.
“What do you think… Fran?” Fran whispered, her breath colder than the ice cream cake that is of so much importance later on.
“I don’t…” Deb looked up at her big sister, wide-eyed. “Are you insinuating that you know what happened to me with my wish?”
Fran became suddenly relaxed and less foreboding. She looked down at her little sister and smiled.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Deb,” Fran said. “I love you.”
Deb gave Fran a big sisterly hug, the kind you’d write home to your sister about.
“I love you, too, Fran,” Deb said, finally happy and not as much of a wretched little puke.
The two sisters continued folding laundry, because that is what sisters do together. They talked of boys and fabrics, and eventually they arrived on the subject of wishes.
“Witches?” Fran asked.
“No, wishes,” Deb replied.
“Yeah,” Fran mused intelligently, “Wishes would be nice to have.”
Deb smiled a knowing smile and continued folding laundry. She glanced up to notice Fran smiling her own brand of knowing smile.
“Wait, so do you know about what happened with me and my wish?”
“No, Fran,” Fran said and winked.
Suddenly, Deb noticed a cheerful blue bird perching on the window behind Fran. It began to chirp.
“So you do?” Deb pleaded.
“No, Deb.”
“Okay.”
“Or do I-“
“-DO YOU?!?”
This continued almost forever and then they died.
The End
LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: Akashi
Birth Date: October 23
Current Location: Chair
Hair Color: Brown
Righty/Lefty: Right
LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
Your fear: Heights, other stuff i can’t think of right now
Your dream of the perfect date: No idea.
LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
Your thoughts first waking up: ”I am still tired.”
Your best physical feature: Beak. HONK
Your bed time: Whenever I feel like it
Your most missed memory: Not sure.
LAYER 4: YOUR PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke. Anyone who picks Pepsi means Coke.
McDonald’s or Burger King: Burger King, I eated all the burger
Single or Group Dates: Single.
Adidas or Nike: Shoes.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla. WHITE POWERRRRRRRRR
Cappuccino or Coffee: I thought Cappuccino was a kind of Coffee o-o Both, then.
LAYER 5: DO YOU.
Smoke: Fuck no.
Cuss: Fuck no.
Take showers: Yeah
Have a crush: No feelings on the subject at the moment.
Like school: Only when it makes sense.
Believe in yourself: Usually.
Believe what goes around comes around: Not sure.
Believe everything happens for a reason: Not sure.
Think you’re a health freak: nah
LAYER 6: IN THE PAST MONTH.
Gone to the mall: Yes.
Been on stage: No.
Eaten sushi: No.
Been hurt: Yes.
Dyed your hair: No.
LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER.
Played a stripping game: watno
Kissed the same sex: No.
Gotten beaten up: In sparring only.
Changed who you were to fit in: Fuck no.
LAYER 8: GETTING OLD.
Age you’re hoping to be married by: Whenever it happens.
Number of kids you’re planning on having: None.
LAYER 9: IN A GIRL/GUY.
Best eye color: Doesn’t matter.
Hair color: Black.
Short or long hair: As long as it isn’t too short, both are fine.
Fat or fit: Not fat.
Looks or personality: If I like them, they have both already.
Fun or serious: FUN 8DD
LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
1 MINUTE AGO: This.
1 HOUR AGO: Tv.
1 WEEK AGO: Geology.
1 YEAR AGO: I barely remember how old I was last year.
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE.
I FEEL: emotions.
I HATE: things that earn it.
I HIDE: the best in hide and go seek.
I NEED: to eat.
I LOVE: SNSD 8D
No this isn’t another anti-SNSD article. I know this is a dumb secret but I want to say SNSD is as gay as gay can get for a girl group. I’ve never seen so many girls touch/stare/fake kiss each other before. I know a lot of fans are going to like “wtf” it’s fan service and I might think I’m a freak…
This is all TRUFAX. And one of the sole reasons I love SNSD sfm. I’m not gay, i’m just a former animu fan lolol.
I don’t necessarily believe it, but I do think everyone should stop adhering to the entertainment (specifically k-pop) world’s “Everyone is straight, do not ask questions” rule and at least entertain the possibility. My personal vote for “likely gay” though, is Amber from f(x). She acts like it and gave a really awkward answer to “who is your ideal guy?”
I would honestly be 100% okay with this. I really hate those “ideal guy” questions too, mostly because I think the company tells them what names to say.
but then I’d spam everyone’s Tumblr more LOL.
Maybe I’ll do it after AP Exam. :3
lolmetoo, only I could be doing it right now D:
Go for it!
but that would take work and effort D:
Don’t forget time! LOL.
oh, and that. ffffff
but then I’d spam everyone’s Tumblr more LOL.
Maybe I’ll do it after AP Exam. :3
lolmetoo, only I could be doing it right now D:
Go for it!
but that would take work and effort D:
but then I’d spam everyone’s Tumblr more LOL.
Maybe I’ll do it after AP Exam. :3
lolmetoo, only I could be doing it right now D:
SNSD ON MY TV? THANK YOU MEI
Guys. Valligator is really good at singing. She sang something in English, two Chinese songs, Run Devil Run, Girl’s Generation, Genie, and Caramel Coffee for me on webcam. REALLY well. She could be a kpop. 8D
